Sunday, April 10, 2011

Faithfulness Reminded

     Today I was reminded of God's faithfulness.
     It has been a tough season for me lately. If you have read any of my other blogs, you have read the various things that have made this season a hard one. This season is not made up of any extreme hardships or losses but a season of fighting. Fighting for truth. Fighting to find what is good and true. Fighting to know a God that rejoices in me. And fighting to know if I can stand firm on the truth I do know. Asking the Lord somedays if He even sees me and if He really sees me then how in the world can he love this mess of a girl?
     I've been searching for identity. I knew who I was before marriage, but who am I now that I am married, now that I am no longer a teenager and now a wife. Am I just a wife? Am I going to be in my husband's shadow always? What happened to all the gifts I thought the Lord had given me? Did they disappear or did He take them away? Will I ever use them again? So many questions and no answers to calm the fears, just faith. Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and the assurance of what we do not see (Heb.11:1), right? Faith has been my sight. Faith that God sees, hears, and knows the thoughts, heart and actions of this girl. Do you hear and not respond? Do you see and not care? I am asking. I am fighting with the air, are you there?
     Today He fought back. Today He answered. Today He spoke life into a tired heart. He had heard me and had not turned His back to me.
     "My daughter, you are valuable beyond belief. You are set apart. You are worthy. I have called you out of death and into life, wonderful life to show others, to teach others. Rise up. Not in your own strength, but in the strength that is perfected in your weaknesses. The weaknesses I know and love. I have made you in my glorious image and you are fearfully and wonderfully  made. Your ways are not my ways, or your time my time, or you thoughts my thoughts. I see, I hear, I know and I"
     Today I was reminded of God's faithfulness.

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